Stumbling into your ‘older self’ is a disconcerting experience. Until it happened to me, I hadn’t given mine a great deal of thought. But here I am, writing to myself (in a few decades’ time) a letter.
I know this sounds odd, but hear me out. When I say I ‘stumbled’ into my older self, I mean it quite literally. What happened was I fractured my shoulder after tripping on a tree root while out on a run.
I thought it was an athletic injury. In fact it was due to osteoporosis. As well as my shoulder, I had also broken two vertebrae in my spine.
It pushed a fast-forward button on the ageing process, making me feel as if I had turned into my much older self more than a decade ahead of time.
Group Business Editor Ruth Sunderland was diagnosed with osteoporosis earlier this year
All of a sudden, doctors tilted their heads and put on that sing-song tone they use on small children, the intellectually challenged and the gnarly ancients.
One had the temerity to inquire what percentage of impairment to my shoulder I would be prepared to accept. He seemed astonished when I told him I was aiming at 100 per cent recovery.
The assumption seemed to be that, as a female over 50, my aspirations ought automatically to be limited. Anger drove me to prove him wrong. I worked super hard at physio and the doctors were forced to admit I’d exceeded their expectations (not mine, though, I hasten to add).
But it was a sobering glimpse into how older women’s health is viewed – which will no doubt already be familiar to many reading this. If this was how I was treated now, I wondered, what about in ten or 20 years?
So here I am, writing a letter to the future me: Ruth at 70 and beyond. This letter is my commitment, a contract of sorts: as a business journalist, I’m quite familiar with such things. It’s a pledge to do everything in my power to make sure I stay as healthy as possible into older age.
As a younger woman I made a decision to invest in myself financially, through pensions and other investments. I see this as the same thing, only this time I’m investing in my health and wellbeing.
With husband Michael, who is in remission from cancer
I’ll tuck the contract away somewhere safe. But I’ll know it’s there, quietly reminding me of my promises. And hopefully, one day, I’ll get it out, read it again and thank myself.
In recent months, a raft of research has shown that lifestyle changes can have a profound effect in preventing some of our most feared diseases, including dementia and cancer. There’s also a lot I can do to protect my bones. I want my older self to know I’ll never accept second best or low expectations for her. And I am laying the groundwork now.
Like many women with busy careers and family commitments, before my diagnosis I didn’t consider my own health a priority. Particularly because my husband is in remission from cancer and his wellbeing was and remains my main concern.
Now, I realise, if I make the effort to look after my older self, it will give both of us the best chance of a happy and fulfilled later life.
1. Making exercise a priority
Experts say running is brilliant for bone and heart health and mental well-being
For years I’ve loved running, and always imagined still lacing up my trainers in my 70s, swishing a silver pony tail.
Experts say running is brilliant for bone and heart health and mental well-being. There is also evidence that regular exercise reduces the risk of breast, bowel and even gynaecological cancers.
I have taken up weight-training, as I have learned in my research about osteoporosis that strength is very important as we age. It is also important for building back confidence after fractures.
At first, lifting weights seemed scary, and I was frightened of hurting myself. But with the help of a trainer and a physio, I now love it. I’ve also started Pilates, which is amazing for improving core strength, balance and preventing falls. I hope it will pay dividends by protecting me from more broken bones.
Exercise is great for psychological health too. Running by myself in nature is meditation time. Hiking with my husband in the countryside gives us valuable hours together, just the two of us.
Like many women with busy lives, I thought I didn’t have time to do more exercise. The reality is, I don’t have enough time not to.
2. Eat well and maintain a healthy weight
I haven’t drunk alcohol for years, and for that I am already thankful. Booze affects the cells that build your bones, and makes you more prone to falls and injuries.
Because I lead a hectic life, I sometimes forget to eat. Depriving myself of nutrition is a very bad idea, so I’m making an effort to stick to regular mealtimes.
We need more protein as we age, so I am consuming more salmon, chicken and other sources of it, plus lots of vegetables and fruit. On top of that I have started to take calcium and vitamin D supplements, which are very good for bone health.
But let’s not get too saintly, or boring – I do like to tuck into posh chocolates on a Saturday night in front of a Scandi Noir.
In reality, osteoporosis has changed my entire thinking on this subject. Pre-diagnosis, my aim was to be slim. Now it is to be strong. I’m proud of my newly defined muscles.
3. Not too much medication
Drug treatments are a controversial subject when it comes to osteoporosis and a number of other serious conditions.
My personal choice is to take the treatments. I am on a year-long course of injections that stop further bone loss and can build back new bone.
After that I will transition on to another drug and expect to be on treatment for the rest of my life.
I also take a daily statin to control hereditary high cholesterol.
But if I can avoid any more medication I would dearly love to, not least because all drugs have potential side effects.
Many women with osteoporosis shun pharmaceuticals and rely on diet and exercise to keep bone loss at bay. It’s a personal choice. My view is that the risks of not taking the drugs outweigh the potential danger of rare serious side effects. In any case, for me it is not an either/or, but both/and. I’m taking the drugs and doing the diet and exercise.
4. Keep being creative and sociable
I want my 70-year-old self to know I have no intention of giving up on her
I know that my 70-year-old self will sometimes feel alone – osteoporosis is a frightening, incurable condition where bones weaken and leave people vulnerable to devastating fractures.
Yet because it is associated with older women, it is swept under the carpet. It’s under-researched, stigmatised and frequently undiagnosed. Broken bones become broken lives and broken spirits. But it doesn’t need to be like that.
The pervasive negativity around osteoporosis casts a dark cloud over my hopes for myself in my 70s, so I will do everything I can to stay creative, productive, energetic and sociable.
I want my 70-year-old self to know I have no intention of giving up on her. I’ve loved fashion all my life, and at 70 I will still want to be stylish. That is a huge incentive to keep up with exercise, healthy eating and my drug treatment regime, in the hope of keeping my bones strong and avoiding a hunched back and loss of height.
Loneliness is a huge risk factor for heart troubles, cancer and an early death. I hope to stay sociable by nurturing relationships with family and friends now, and by making new ones.
5. If things don’t go to plan, stay positive
There are ‘demon what-ifs’ that swarm round inside my head like a cloud of black moths. I’m sure I’m not the only one. What if I have a string of fractures? What if I am in constant pain?
I can’t put the lid back on that Pandora’s box, but I’ve found that it helps if I turn my fears into positive action.
One of the best things I did was getting involved with the Royal Osteoporosis Society – I am now one of its Business Ambassadors. It has a specialist nurse helpline and amazing resources online, including diet tips, information on drug treatments, videos on how to exercise safely and a network of local support groups.
This letter really is about some gifts I’m trying to make now to my future self, if she is lucky enough to celebrate her 70th birthday. I don’t want to tempt fate, just to do my best for her.
